Law of Paying Attention

Remember the Law of Paying Attention of the 21 Irrefutable Laws of relationship which suggested that we should pay attention to our loved one? We are to observe and maybe surprise our partner with something that he or she really desire. On the other note, I really wish to continue the series again soon.

Do you know when you really DESIRE something, you usually will get it? And on last week, I got what I desire because my partner has been paying attention to me. Although the desire is not too wishful and neither it is difficult to be fulfilled, it certainly made my day and I still feel sweet until now when I think about it.

So, the story goes like this. On one fine day when I went out with my darling to run some errands and while we were waiting in the queue, there was this advertisement banner in front of us. The banner has a picture of my favourite food and drink, nasi lemak and teh tarik. I stared unconsciously at the banner for quite sometimes. Actually, I was staring at the mouth-watering picture to be specific, but I tried to act like I was reading the texts on the banner, which was trying to depict the features of the advertised package.

The next thing I knew, we were on the way to another appointment, which was at a mamak restaurant. In no time, I was having my nasi lemak and teh tarik, the exact food of what I have pictured about half an hour ago. But now, I got to smell and taste it. Though the food is not expensive at all, and the restaurant is not of high standard as well as there is not famous chef in the restaurant, incredibly, I had an unmeasurable satisfaction out of it.

I thank my dear and told him that it was a very enjoyable lunch because I just thought of having exactly the same thing.

That was when he showed to me the Law of Paying Attention in full demonstration. He said "You think I don't know that when you were looking at the banner just now? I saw your expression and I know that is what you desire, so I brought you exactly here. It is not as easy as it seems, as I have to think of a restaurant that still sell nasi lemak (with the same packaging) at this hour of the day. Also, I have to call my business associate who will pass me something, to change to here at the last minute. "

I was incredulous. I asked him how would he notice I was actually looking at the food and craving for it, and not at the rest of the banner. I remembered I did make some efforts not to act like so gluttonous while staring at the picture and I definitely remembered there was absolutely not a single drop of saliva from my mouth. He reminded me he had a degree in psychology and he definitely is qualified enough from the years of study to be able to tell that from my expression despite my efforts.

I smiled sweetly. Inside, I was dancing and jumping. Passionately.



Well, although this story is a bit trivial, but sometimes, a simple action can really lighten up someones' day. Even though it is just a small thing, but it can be really sweet. I bet you all have your share of sweet stories too. So, let's pay attention to the one we really care about and make them happy. The world will definitely be a much happier place to live in.



I took a picture of the lovely meal after I gluttonize it passionately. It did not occur to me to take the picture before I dive in the meal (obviously), although that would be much more alike to the picture that was in my mind and on the banner.

Corporate Games aka Office Politics (Part 2)

First of all, I would like to thank my mentor for writing this part for me. Additionally, he told me there is a total of 16 corporate games. I never thought it can be that specific and I definitely curious to know more. So, there will be a lot of articles coming on this topics.

I encourage you readers to direct any questions you have about corporate games in the comments of this post. I shall get my mentor to answer your questions. He warned me though, the corporate game players are going to hate him (and me, since this is my blog) for all these exposures. I guess the last thing I will be affected both emotionally and spiritually is to upset all these players. I, basically, may even be elated to do this.

Here it goes:

Why does corporate games exist and rising?

Statistically over 65% of Malaysians are unaware of what their future holds in their work life.

It is actually a phenomenon which have been observed for the past few years among the working class at the age of between 20-30 years old.

There are primarily 4 reasons to such phenomenon:

Firstly, it is noticed that after graduation, most people would (with the exceptions of rich sons and daughters of the upper class) simply apply for any jobs that are available due to the pressures of the unemployment. "What happens if I don't get a job? What are my peers going to think of me? What will my parents say? How am I going to get the things I want?" That would be some of the thoughts in their minds. This we call, "The Pressure Point".

Secondly, after working on a job which they have not thought through carefully, the people would be hunting again for another job which they thought would be a better job than the current one, thinking "Hey, now that I have some working experience, I can get a better job with my qualification". But in actual fact, they are again considering the pay package as a major factor rather than the job which suits them in the long term. This we call, "The Monetary Factor".

Thirdly, within the companies of which they are working in, they had noticed that some people actually did not work as hard as they ought to be. And some were not as smart and efficient as they should be. But they managed to get promoted, getting authority and also making the "big bucks". So, after the observation, they are now beginning to learn what we call "The Corporate Games". Play their cards right, stick with the herds, play along with the crowd, bully the weak, make use of others, ignore the feelings of others. The list goes on and on. Suddenly, they thought they had found the shortcut to success. "The Corporate Games", so we call it.

Lastly, after being a seasoned "player" for a few years and playing their games, some actually "lost out" due to being exposed of their inability to perform. It can also be the herds had broken up , or they have failed once too many times to cover up. But try as they may to maintain their positions for "survival", they would resort to the most vicious of all corporate games, i.e. they sabotage others. Playing the back stabbing trick, the traps they laid out to their targets, the false achievements which they claimed away from others. The bad things go on and you do not want me to delve into that right now. This we call "The Ultimate Games".

For every beginning, there will be an ending. So, someday, a true leader comes along, hired by the company to "clean up" everything. Thus the day shall be the end of the players.

So, if corporate games are way of life, why don't these people succeed in their life permanently? The answer lies in the most basic law of nature, that is, as the Chinese saying goes, "For every mountain, there is a higher mountain". No matter how good they are, there is always someone who is more skillful in playing games.

Corporate Games aka Office Politics (Part 1)

Why don't you blog about Corporate Games? I think it will be an interesting topic. My mentor said this to me one day.

Yeah, right. Interesting. But the problem is I am like a kindergarden student when it comes to Corporate Games (aka Political Games) . I did remember the first day I was in the kindergarden school. There are several scenes where some kids threw tantrums, thrashed things and screamed to go home. I am proud to announce I was not one of them as I sat quietly and waited for my first lesson. Ironically, for corporate games lesson, I feel like I want to be like the kids who wanted to go home.

One part of kindergarden days that is similar to the initial learning of corporate games is that you never can expect what will be taught, who are your schoolmates, how they behave and how they will treat you. Sure enough I remembered the big fat bully aka the Bitch (ironically, the bully in my secondary school was in the same proportion of size, albeit in 2 times of the size). She used her appalling body and oppresive behaviour to intimidate the normal-5-years-old-size like me into following her command and "sharing" my lunches with her. Those who did not abide, would be the outcast and that's where they sat at one corner and nobody would play with them.

And then, you would also notice those so-eager-to-please doggy who followed her everywhere she went and anything she did, wagging their tails to her while barking at everybody else. And you know what, those group of people usually scored last in the class, except maybe the fat bitch. She must have some brains, at the very least, to lead a bunch of stupid people.

I guess kindergarden taught me more about corporate games more than anything else. I have been through some real corporate games, if you must know, and although I am still living healthily, I have escaped with some bruises and repressed eagerness to work in corporate environment. Still at kindergarden-level of knowledge in corporate games, I do not want to pretend I know a lot about it to qualify me to write a post (and good and bad news is I intend to write several posts). However, I think it is not hard to do some research to start something on these. Let us all learn together (that is always the intention of my blog) . Besides, my mentor will also share his experience with me. He is, after all, the master of tactics and strategy and that definitely includes corporate games. And he has seen it all. All the good, the evil, the kind, the mean, the black and the white of all that we had shared and experienced in this world.

Ok, let's go to the basic first in this part 1.

What is corporate game?

Edward B. Toupin said this:
A corporate game is an illegitimate means of getting things done. It is a way that people twist and turn situations to reach a specific goal. However, those people that don't play, risk their careers.

Politics and political maneuvering is the interpersonal conflicts and power plays that exist in most organizations. Among the specific actions commonly associated with office politics are intimidation, indirect communications, covert tactics for advancement, manipulation for control, indirectly telling the truth, hiding vulnerability issues, and playing for favors.

Politics came about as a way of handling intense competition. Generally, business itself is a competitive game ranging from simple tests of skill to full-blown battles. The game is driven by survival conditions induced by an expanding world market in which companies must continue to change and grow. There's a constant challenge to overwhelm the opposition, reduce costs, and acquire additional resources. All of these attributes trickle down through the ranks to cause individual battles for promotions, rewards, and recognition at all costs.

Another reason for office politics has to do with the hierarchical structure of most organizations. The higher you advance, the less room there is at the top. As long as people battle for the "corner office," workplace maneuvers will reign. This is where the most intense battles occur and where most people find that they are stepped on or pushed aside.

Stephen Ryan said this:

Every business is comprised of a variety of different systems, including information systems, human management systems, corporate vision dissemenation systems, marketing systems, fianancial accounting systems, customer relation management systems, health & safety systems and legal and compliance management systems, to name but a few. Regardless of whatever size of business you run, your MD will most likely be responsible for maintaining all these complex structures and your own performance as a manager will be measured against how well each of these systems are developed. To achieve this you may well implement performance appraisal systems such as KPI (Key Performance Indicator) analysis systems, CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) measures and transparent, open and authoratitive reporting to the shareholders of the company.

With so many systems to maintain and be responsible for, you'd have thought that there would be little room for introducing ever greater complexity. Especially where this complexity involves the establishment of systems that are not open, not transparent, not ethical and not based on good business practices, but rather rampant - self-interest. "Political Games Systems".

When managers feel pressured by the responsibility of maintaining existing business systems, many of them fall into playing the game of politics. For many, this is a subconcious reaction to being squeezed. For others, it is a game to be relished. A game for lazy people, a game for con-men. For procrastinators. For people who would rather play games - than do things that make a real difference to the business.

We call this the "politics - replaces responsibility" syndrome.

Why you need to learn corporate games?

Improperly managing power and politics can make or break your career, cause many sleepless nights, and often has very little to do with your actual job duties. Many people who fail in their jobs do so because of political problems, not skill deficiencies. Many intelligent and capable people aren't as successful as they might be because they haven't learned to cope with office politics. Understanding why you might be having difficulty at work involves understanding the basic elements of office politics and why it exists.

Whether you decide to play or not, don't get caught in the middle. If you become the individual that battles politics, then you become the scorned of the organization. If you decide to stay out of it completely, then do your job and stay out. Those on the other end of the spectrum that play will respect your decision because that alone gives them less competition in their own battles.

One thing you'll notice is that no one will admit to playing games; however, that is part of the secret of politics. You, on the other hand, cannot confront anyone for playing games; however, you can identify the games and learn how to manage them to suit your needs. Once you figure out how to do this, then your stress level will drop, and you'll be accepted in your environment.

The summary of the lessons are:
1. Understand and learn about corporate games. Do not be a fool to ignore it. Do not wait until you are played out or crushed in the game, then only you learn.

2. You do not need to play it to hurt people but DO NOT fight it. Learn how to manage it to suit your needs and to reduce your stress.

If you are a woman, there is no doubt you may be at a little more disadvantages compared to the other sex in the corporate world. You might want to look at the rules of the games for corporate women.

And for those who never really work in a corporate environment before, my advice to you will be - do try out to get a taste of the games while you are still young and fearless because the higher level you go in your career ladder, the more intense the corporate games will be. And you will definitely appreciate the lessons to tame your brashness.

Why, why, why

Do you always have excuses for failures or mistakes? Like when you created a product that fail to sell, you blamed it on the lack of features or the poor marketing.

I do not deny there could be many reasons for failures, but what I do not agree is the way how people conveniently blame it on other things other than themselves when they fail. I actually learnt this the hard way from my mentor. I have made a lot of excuses for my mistakes, until my mentor stripped them off me and I stood naked (of course, I mean this figuratively) and I got nothing to hide. Imagine yourself having nothing to defend yourself, nothing to shield yourself. It was unnerving for me at first until I began to understand why he did that. And I had to say it was a life-saving experience for me.

Imagine your life, where you complain and are not satisfied with some of the things that happen to you but you do not do anything to change the situations. Like while you feel you are not making enough money or the small business you started long time ago is not going anywhere, but you do nothing (or very less of what you should do) . Instead of spending the times to work to get the money or improve your skillsets, you go to enjoy and hoo-ha with your friends in every free times you have. Then, you continue to complain about not having enough time and you blame it on all other things except yourself and the choices you have made, which are apparently stupid.

That is where I guess most of us live in our own defense, denying that we are the one who actually screw up our life. Not other people. Not our family, not our bosses and definitely not God.

Well, my mentor, he made me came out of this defense. To stand naked to the truth that I was the one who had not been reacting to my life. I was the one who denied myself the chance to be successful.

The approach he used to do that is none other than the 5-Whys technique famously used in Toyota, one of the top quality rankings automative makers in the world. The method is simple. Just keep on asking whys until it get the bottom of the causes, where usually it becomes clear that the root cause is due to the individuals and not the weather, relatives, or economy, etc.

As preached in most of the self-help books, while at most of the times we cannot change situations or other people's behaviors, we certainly can change our thinking and responses. Thus, most of our mistakes and failures originate from ourselves. We are the one who should be in control. We should not let the external factors affect us or the results. That is also why we need to keep the 3 principles in mind when we do anything, to guarantee results.

Here are some examples on where the 5-Whys is used to get to the root causes of the failures and then act on them (change them or do whatever it takes!).

Example 1

Why we fail to sell this product?
Because customers find the product is not useful.

Why do customers find the product not useful?
Because the product does not really help them improve their revenues in business.

Why didn't we make or design the product to help customer to improve their revenues in business?
Because we do not know that is what customers want in the first place.

Why didn't we know that in the first place?
Because we do not do any market research or product analysis to come out with the proper product design.

Why didn't we do that in the first place?
Because we do not know that is necessary and we do not know how to do that.

Why didn't we know that and if we do not know that, why we do not ask for help? (notice the same questions are repeating?)
Because I am not capable. Because I did not do my job well as the head of department. Because I just do not have the knowledge and experiences to make this successful. (this is where it gets to the individual's mistake, where the general term "we" is stripped off and one have to take the responsibility to own up to one mistakes.)

In that case, why should we let you keep your job if you are not really doing your job well?
Because I learnt from this mistake and I know what are the right things to do next times.

And why should we trust you will succeed the next time?
Because there will be no excuses for failures and I will be solely held responsible for it.

I have to admit I exaggerated a bit here to make the point. But this process of asking whys are very important to get to the bottom of things and to take actions. Notice also the causes of the failure change from the product to the people or the team (we) and finally to the one who are responsible for the team result. (I).

In my experience, I encountered people repeating the same mistakes and given the same (or slightly altered) excuses each time for the failures. One of the people is ME, which I have vowed to change. And I am changing . Not trying to change (trying is not good!), I am definitely changing. No more excuses, right?

In one of the company I worked in, during the span of 5 years, we encountered 4 of out 5 products failed to deliver the business values and revenues for the company. The 4 failed products are consecutive, which means only the first product are successful (maybe, out of luck) and for the rest of the products, we kept on repeating our mistakes and gave ourselves all sort of excuses to defend ourselves (and our jobs).

Example 2

This example is how my mentor had changed me, stripped down of all my defences and make me realized that I need to change and improve myself first before I can really do things efficiently. Of course, this is the summarized version. I hate to admit this but my defensiveness and stupidity were worse than depicted here. But I have learnt my lesson and dare to admit my mistakes so that YOU ALL can learn also and benefit from this.

So, how about YOU? Have you realize and admit YOUR MISTAKES?

Mentor: Why you made that mistake?
Me: Sorry, I did not follow what you have told me.

Mentor: Why you did not follow what I have told you? Did you choose to defy me?
Me: Sorry, I did not choose to defy you. I just forgotten at that point of time.

Mentor: Why you cannot remember what I have taught you?
Me: It did not register in my mind at that point of time. And I did not stop to think.

Mentor: Why is that?
Me: Because I did not listen properly, I am forgetful and I always do things on impulse.

Mentor: Why you are like that? What cause that?
Me: Sorry, it is my bad habit. Things are not organized and in place, that's why things are jumbled up and I cannot think and do things properly.

Mentor: And what you need to do?
Me: I need to change. I will listen properly. I will remember things. and I will always think carefully before I act. And most of all, I need to start to organize everything, so that everything is in place and I have a clear mind and space to do things efficiently.

Well, that are exactly what I am going to do and improve myself. So, the next time things screw up, ask yourself all the WHYS until you get origin of the problem.

4 prerequisites for being a Consultant

Every business has problems. Everyone has problems. Would it not be nice if we can pay someone to look into our problems and solve them for us? Would it not make our life much easier to live by everyday? That is provided if we can find such people who are willing and capable enough to do the jobs for us with a price tag of maybe our house or our latest Ferrari.

That is what consultants do. And, of course, the cost to do the job also. A consultant, in generic term, is a professional who provides advice in a particular area of expertise, for e.g. in business, management.


It maybe suffices for me to say, consultant is just providing advice and not really need to get their hands dirty by actually doing the job. But I have seen the most efficient consultant in the world (at least, in the world that I have seen) who really gets his hands dirty and able to execute every jobs perfectly. The load of his job are easily the jobs of 3 senior managers combined. And he is one crazy consultant, so let's call him C.C. for now.

C.C. inspired me to define consultants differently. They are those who knows what people needs and what they need to do, and they get it done, no matter what. No matter what. Period. There are simply no excuses for failure. After all, who will trust a consultant who can talk and advice, but who never really have done the job before.

C.C. is also the most efficient and knowledgable people I ever seen in my life. I mean the real efficient one. There are those who call themselves consultants but not living up to the title at all. I came across some business consultants, project consultants that just are NOT consultants.

For that, I treat C.C. as my role model and I long to become near as good as him someday.

Thanks to him, I start to understand the consultant style of doing things. In one of the sales training session conducted by C.C, he spoke of this:

Sell solutions, not sell the products.
Sell in a consultant way.
Do not have the salesman mentality , more like consultant mentality.

Let's put it this way, while normal salesman approach the customers and start to sell their company and products by telling about the good features and benefits, the consultant approach the customers and ask them what are their problems. Then they provide solutions to solve their problems. The solutions normally include their products and services. Otherwise, they can always work with other business associates.

While you might be tempted to become a consultant, here are the 4 prerequisites C.C. told me where one should look into:

1. Presales
A consultant should know the product inside out. A good understanding of the product and business is very important.

2. Public Relation
A consultant holds the role of a key account manager. Thus, he must have very good people-skill and very well-versed in sociology.

3. Analytically strong
A strong analytical mind is the key asset of a consultant. A consultant must analyze everything, the budgets, the values and potential of the business, assistance needed, potential hurdles,etc. These are done based on experience and situation.

4. Detailed
A consultant must have a keen sense of awareness of small things and situation and opportunities. He is also detailed in observing the reactions of people. He has to come out with a complete solution thinking, detailing every single steps from A-Z, coming out with the fail-safe or backup plan.

3 principles in doing everything in life

My mentor told me these 3 principles on our first day of training. At that time, I just noted them down and never really give it a serious thought and practice.

Over the time, I saw him repeated this teaching to other people who were lucky enough to have chance to learn things from him. And I witnessed all the successful results when the rules are followed through each execution. On the other hand, I saw how things failed miserably when these rules were not being followed, especially when one missed out a step.

I can say this is the secret to success. Simple rules yet so powerful. It is the difference between people who always deliver on promise no matter what are the circumstances and people who always fail together with a set of reasons for their failures.

Here are the principles. These can be applied to everything you want to do in life, except maybe love.

1. Do homework/preparation

Before we start working on anything, we need to do our homework or make enough preparation. No generals or soldiers are going to go to the war unprepared. This is the same philosophy.

For sales people, preparation may mean studying the list of potential customers, competitors , understanding the markets, etc. It may also include qualification of the customers and coming out with the sales strategies.

For people who are going to travel to the foreign countries or states, it may mean studying the weather, what kind of clothes to prepare, places for visiting or shopping, things to buy and the expected prices, how much money to change to the foreign currency, etc. Also, we probably need to ask friends who had been to the same place on what to take note, especially things to beware of.

I learn this from my own few bad experiences in my recent trip to Beijing. I wish I was more prepared. But I am glad I realized my mistakes and are working for a big change now.

Thus, I think this step is most important but also most omitted by people, usually due to lot of common excuses and habits like procrastination, laziness, wrong priorities , not enough time or too rush. For e.g. , how many times you have gone to poor demo or presentations and wonder why the presenters are not well prepared? Or how many times you read through reports or proposals or resumes submitted to you and find there are still a lot of mistakes which should not be made?

It is important to spend enough times and efforts in doing the homework and ensuring a certain quality of the homework.

2. Be Focus

After we have done the homework, now it is time to start on the real work itself. We must be very focus to execute from start to end.

We must always finish what we started. We cannot quit no matter what. It is important that we do not quit at this stage as psychologically if we do, we may just continue to quit for the next and following tasks. And finally it becomes our habit to quit whenever things go wrong. And things always go wrong. That's why it is necessary for us to make it right.

Of course, not all the things are worth continuing. Sometimes we have to quit also if we know it is not possible for us to make it to the end or deliver the results we want. If we want to quit, the best time to quit is actually before or at the homework stage.

For sales people, focus may mean perseverance in making appointments with customers, doing presentations and following up until they close the deals.

3. Have Backup Plan

Never have one and only plan. Have plan A and plan B. Plan B is the backup. If plan A fail, execute plan B. We may also want to have plan C and plan D depending on the complexity and difficulty of the tasks.

This is also a very important steps but most people never work on this because they do no want the hassle to think of another plan to backup. They put their full bets on their main plan to go right and counting on their lucks, which are very silly.

Since sales is all about making numbers, it is important to plan it by playing around with the numbers. If the sales target is set to be 1 million for that year, make sure we are planning sales pipelines which is much more than that. If our target is to get 10 customers a week, make sure we make appointments with 30 to 50 customers. If product A may not be able to meet the target sales, have product B to start selling as the backup plan.

Let us all follow these 3 principles to ensure we are always winning in everything we do.

He who fails to plan, plans to fail.

Crazy man in a crazy weather

After a month of lack of posting due to my busy schedule, I would like to share this incredible true story.

While I was working in Beijing last week, I witnessed an unbelievable act of craziness. It was around 7 p.m. at temperature of around minus 10 degree Celsius. The man was in the middle of the walkway, apparently searching for taxi. He was unsheltered from the icy wind and temperature that can easily freeze a glass of water in 10 minutes.

And he was only wearing a T-shirt and a thin sweater. No conventional winter coat. Immediately he stood out in the crowd as at that crazy weather, it was almost like a crazy suicide attempt. He was there for at least 20 minutes. I can almost guarantee that Fear Factor would not even consider that act in their programs.

He survived, thanks to God's kindness. I asked him why he did that. He said his girlfriend was feeling cold because she just had a winter coat and a blouse underneath. He gave her his coat to prevent her suffering in the cold weather. They were looking for a taxi to go back to their hotel but at that place and time, most of the taxi drivers did not want to help. So, they had to stay out in the cold weather, trying to get a taxi driver that is willing to give them a ride. I had my fair share of experience with bad attitude of taxi drivers in China. So, I can understand how hard for them at that time.

What I did not understand is why he wanted to risk his life like that. He said he did it because he love his girlfriend very much and he is willing to die for her. He did the only thing that he saw as the only choice to guarantee the safety of his love one, that is to sacrifice himself for love.

He said he almost died there. His legs were already numb and his heart almost stopped pumping.

This made me thought of the memorable scene in Titanic, where Jack sacrificed his life for Rose. Like the movie "Romeo and Juliet" too.

But this story is very REAL, as real as my life.

I do not know why I choose to blog about this but I found his love is really touching. In this world and generation, it is hard to believe such person and love exist except in the movie.

It makes me realize that this world is always fill with wonders and possibilities. It makes me believe love is the greatest and most beautiful thing in this world. And to love, we need to sacrifice ourselves sometimes, to give and not counting how much we take.

Love may even be crazy, so crazy that no one else can comprehend.

Finally, I wish for the long life and happiness for the Crazy Man and his beloved girl.