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Control and Confusion

Am I trying to be in control too much?
Am I trapped in confusion of trying to understanding life too much?

I have my answers from 3 blog posts and also from a friend. He alluded several times to how I spent much of my energy trying to understand and find answers to why things happened instead of focusing on my actions and decisions for the future.


Blog post:

I won’t be able to put it into words better than Paulo Coelho, so I recommend you to read the post avidly.

Points to take home from Paulo Coelho:

Love is an act of faith in another person. Let the face of your love covered in mystery.

Each moment shall be lived and enjoyed, but whenever we try to understand it, the magic disappears.

Those who don’t accept it and always seek an explanation for the magic and mysterious, human relations will lose the best of what life has to offer.

Why did my business fail?
Why did my relationship fail?
Why did I lose my job?

We tend to ask the question “Why?” or “Why Me?” a lot.
The question why is both powerful and destructive. It is powerful to derive some life lessons. It is destructive when we continue to play those in our heads like a broken record and do not realize we might never be able to find the truth of the whole matter.

So, stop trying to understanding too much. Accept the situation as it is. Acceptance is power!


Blog post:

Kate Swoboda pointed out we tend to think we are in control. But that is a dangerous illusion. She gave a terrific example of those who are in denial, saying things like this:
“I’m not trying to control anything–isn’t it right to expect that if someone says they’re going to do something, they should do it?”

Being right? Expectations? Should? 

These words point straight to the heart of control.

I cannot remember how many times I get frustrated and disappointed when I use that kind of control. I thought I was right to keep people to their words. After all, they should keep their promises. I did not care whether they mentioned it casually or swore to it.

I was so wrong and wrecked.

The amazingly simple solution is to surrender the control. Give up the illusion of being in control.
Paulo Coelho also alluded in his story “Those who sought to find safety, found insecurity.”

When it is times to let go, just let go. Trust ourselves. Have faith.

Be Clear, Confident and Courageous

Blog post:

Sarah Robinson in her post “The familiar comfort of confusion”, pointed out how confusion can be comforting to us and thus why people would want to stay in the confused state?

Because it is familiar. Because it keeps us from committing. Because it absolves us of responsibility.

Leaving questions unanswered simply allows us to claim “confusion” as our reason for staying exactly where we are.

We move in the world as if we are clear, as if we are confident, as if we are courageous. Then and only then do these qualities come to us.

When we are confused, we also make people around us confused as well. Even though, we can forcefully say something, our action can be incoherent with our words. And that is confusion. We should take responsibilities to leave the comfort of confusion behind.

Let our beliefs, thoughts, words, feelings and actions be clear, consistent and in alignment.


MingSen said…
Good and thanks for your new post, it came just in time too (for me) :)
MingSen said…
Good and thanks for your new post, came just in time for me :)

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