Sunday, 25 August 2013

How to Improve Decision Making Skill

My friend asked me whether I have any advice on how to improve decision-making skill. And I started asking myself these:

How good am I in making decisions? Had I been making good decisions in the past? 

One word stared straight at me. FAILURES.

Failures = Bad Decisions. There have been many big failures in my life. It took me a long while to recuperate - mentally and emotionally.

But I had a better equation now. Failures = Decision to Learn = Courage to make mistakes. Yes, I have chosen at many times to learn the hard lessons from the bumpy roads in my life.

I had made decision in my past to learn the lessons from life. But now, I have made a decision to win and to love. So my friend's question came just right on time as I also need to improve my decision making skills.

Here are a few decision making strategies that I feel can help.

1. OOC/EMR Decision Making Process from Anthony Robbins

I never quite get down to try this decision making process. But in terms of making big and important decisions, I think it is good to go through this process.

2. From the book "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. 

I am not advocating to make decision in a blink - the power of thinking without thinking, the first two seconds decision making or the gut feeling. But this gives us a very good perspective. Sometimes, we already have made a decision in a blink. But we somehow tell ourselves we need more data. Perhaps, it is really good to trust our gut feelings. Perhaps not - it really depends on our level of mastery and the circumstances.

What really stands out for me in "Blink" is a study done on married couples, where they videotaped their conversations. From there, they used the different criteria to predict whether the couple would divorce in years to come. There are certainly a lot of things that can make or break a marriage, but the result was astonishing. It just came down to one criteria - whether the couples have contempt for each other.

My point is there are massive data and thousands of criteria for us to make decision, but usually the key important criteria is just a handful. And that's what we need to focus on. The rest is just noises and are not really important.

I used to break off with a guy because we just seem not able to get together well. Then, I asked both of us to envision how our old age will look like. I envision an old man and old woman lovingly holding hands walking together. He envision an old man alone, sitting on a chair, being at peace. That tells a lot about his value system and my value system in terms of partnership in life. Neither is right or wrong, but to be together, our values system has to align with each other.

3. Is it Love or is it Fear?

From A Course In Miracles and Return to Love (Mariane Williamson), I learn that a lot of things we do and decision we make, either we are driven by love or driven by fear.

Why do we not do the work we love?
Why do we stop from taking that action which will bring good change to our life?
Why do we stop going to the gym, eating healthy food and getting enough sleep?

All I am saying is use LOVE to make the decision instead of fear, and as Paulo Coelho put it, once we make the decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.

Love itself is a decision. We make decision to love ourselves and others, to be happy, to heal and be healed, to change.

Fear is the darkness. Love is the light. We do not get to the light through endless investigation of the darkness. The only way to the light is through entering the light. (From A Return To Love)

Albert Einstein famously proclaimed "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it". It means that if we are to make a decision of a problem solving at the same state when we created the problem in the first place, we will never be making a good decision. When we create the problem, we are in the darkness or in the fear. Thus, we need to go to light and the love to make the decision on how to solve it.

So, let's our decision-making to be driven by love, instead of fear.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

How to Stop Missing Your Ex

Your inane hand reaches out to the phone for a hundred times. No! Don’t call him! Your mind shouts at you. You realize you need a better deterrent …… besides breaking your phone. Filled with determination, you change his contact name to “Do Not Call !”. Ingenious, you tell yourself.
But you find yourself helplessly texting him later.  So, you change his contact to “Do Not Call or Text!”.
Then, there is another problem. He continues to pop into your head regularly. Sometimes it seems like he is peering through your skull, examining your brain like a doctor. Finally, you scream at him. “Get out of my head! Don’t you dare come without my permission!” . He answers innocently and impassively “Actually, I never ask to be here”. And you know that is very true. You do that to yourself. So, you resort to feeling stupid and out of control.
Maybe you have done nothing of that sort before. But I did ALL of those.  
Why is it so difficult to control your emotion and act sensibly when you are going through a breakup? It is like you are walking on the rope between 2 cliffs with no safety harness. You are not willing to fall and die, yet you know it is so easy to overthrow your balance. Keep walking! It is almost there to Safety! Your soul tells you. Yet, you cannot even see the finishing line. It is all cloudy and blurry. How long do I have to continue like this, you ask.
Until you can imagine you already reached the other cliff, the safe haven of joy. And feel like that too. Yes.
Imagine Your Future Healed Self!
Thus, I would like to share with you 2 personal recipes that I created to walk through that rope to the other cliff. I guarantee no falling and you’ll even enjoy the walk on the rope like you are walking on a beach!
1st Personal Recipe: 1-2 Year from now, this won’t matter that much as now.
I asked myself these series of questions in my mind.  I crafted these based on the NLP language pattern and these had helped me a lot to put me in a new perspective. But try this with care, as it messed up my mind a little last time, until I became much smarter.
What would it be like in the future, 1 to 2 years from now, when I have already gotten over the infatuation, that I no longer see him as my desired object, now in the future, as I look back and see what it was like to have had that problem of being so infatuated with him without any valid reason, as I think about it now.
Didn’t I have an infatuation before? And after 1 or 2 years I totally know it was actually an infatuation even though when I was in it, I did not know and thought it was love and he was the one?
Didn’t I ever break-up with someone and be totally fine after that?
I know I will get over the feeling soon. Why wait?
I will know one day in the future, I won’t see him or feel anything like I am feeling now? Why not put myself in the future now and look back?
Right now, as I am going to be in 1 or 2 years later, I am feeling completely neutral towards him.
I shall set myself free. And I set him free.
2nd Personal Recipe: When I am 80 years old, I know I’ll treasure the experience with him
I got this idea from the animation movie, Howl’s Moving Castle. (By the way, I absolutely, passionately, and fabulously love Studio Ghibli. Watching its movies was one of the most amazing things that I treasure in my life.)
In this movie, Sophie was turned into an 80-years-old woman by a spell cast by a witch. She was therefore forced to embark on a new journey to find the cure. Despite hunching, wobbling, wincing while walking through the tough journey, she found that at her age, there was nothing she could be afraid anymore. Sophie then met Howl, a very handsome guy whom she met once and was very attracted to. But accepting the fact that she was 80 years old, she did not even think about any mutual attraction. She then focused on doing what she needed to do to stay alive, find the cure and be as happy and normal as can be- that includes cleaning Howl’s castle, having a fun time with another lovely kid – cheekily but motherly and sitting by the beautiful lake, drinking tea. That was a very serene scene that I like the most. And she even became feistier – maybe that will happen when one does not care about other opinions.The story ended when she realized she really loved Howl and would do anything for him without hoping for any return. Maybe because of the unconditional love, she broke the curse and turned back to her own youthful self.
So, I imagined what would be like an 80-years-old like Sophie. It made me feel immediately, things that matter a lot to me now, will not matter so much when I am 80-years-old, and I will treasure the experience. I also know that when I am 80, I am going to look back at this heartbreak episode and laugh at myself so hard that all my teeth will come loose.
In fact, the 2 personal recipes I shared here not only work for your heartbreak, but it can work for anything else in your life when you are feeling  negative – sad, angry, foolish, etc… Try these out!

A Great Inspiration from an Amazing Kid

It is not every day we run a race, speak in public or pitch to a client. We probably struggle and stumble a little in the quest to win - either a race, a speech contest or the million-dollar deal.

But for Matt, as shown in this video, we can easily be tearful and inspired by how hard he worked to finish his race; and the love and support shown by people around him. Love is indeed the greatest gift in the world.

Friday, 9 August 2013

Miraculous Relationship Meditation

A few friends said they do not like meditation because they are impatient or some even feel the moment of quietness is actually more stressful.

I am still learning how to quiet my mind. Thus, I usually opt for guided meditation because at least my mind can concentrate on a thought. It is easier than not thinking at all.

Join me in this meditation of Miraculous Relationships - a journey designed to increase the peace, joy and well-being in your life.

Registration free at Namaste.

Friday, 2 August 2013

A Course In Miracles

The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance. The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite. A Course in Miracles, T-in.1.

Are you feeling homesick?  A place where you run free and feel loved ...?
Have you lost your way to your kampung?  A heartfelt place of laughter and kindness ...?
Are you ready for the day-to-day systematic practice of happiness?

If you’re ready ... this is the Course.  It’s the way to your kampung, where you can leave all your anxieties to return to a place of inner peace and joy. 

A Course In Miracles is a self-study day-by-day guide to practice right-mindedness thinking.  At the end of the Course, you will realize that happiness has just slipped your mind.  Now, it’s calling you to remember ...

All the Course asks of you is an open heart, an expansive mind and the willingness to be vulnerable.  First of all, let yourself be fully committed to happiness.  To fulfill your wish to experience miracles, you are required to read the Course on your own.  And to get you started, commit yourself to three sessions of blissful learning, facilitated by Chee Wah, today.  
These three sessions, each 2 hours, will include:

Session #1: What the Course says? - an introduction to the 669-page Text.
Session #2: Why 365 lessons? - an introduction to the Workbook for Students
Session #3: Who are Teachers? - an introduction to the Manual for Teachers.

In 2001, Chee Wah joined the Novitiate Program as a Buddhist monk with the objective to understand the balance of body, mind and soul.  A few years later, he came across A Course In Miracles and started a journey of self discovery by reading two pages of the text each day and practiced the 365 lessons from the Workbook for Student.  Committing to a discipline, one day, two pages and one lesson, he managed to complete the Course in one year.  To have a deeper understanding, he started from page one all over again.  Since 2005, he continues to read the Course regularly. 

By request, he starts to share the principles from the book and practices its philosophy of right-mindedness thinking.  Opportunities knocked.  Doors opened.  He was invited to speak at many seminars and conducted various workshops based on the Course.  In 2008, he began penning his thoughts and authored the book “Invite Freedom Home - Creating A Meaningful Life and Live Life with Passion”. The book is the #1 Bestseller on Popular Bookstore’s Self-Enrichment category.  

Why I want to commit to the Course?  By Susan Lim

I have a lot of questions about inner peace, love and happiness.  I immersed myself in the teachings of the Law of Attraction as popularized by “The Secret” and “Abraham Hicks”, learnt Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP) and Hypnotherapy, Buddhism and a variety of self-development materials.  But somehow I still find myself in the dark trying desperately to look for directions and a sense of purpose in life.   I am fearful of almost everything: old age, immaturity, failure, mediocrity, having insignificant dreams and even fear of not achieving my dreams at all.   Constantly, I dreaded the idea that I’ve either not loved or I’ve not been loving enough.  I am just paralyzed with fear.

I first heard of A Course In Miracles when I read Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love.  I know I have to explore the Course and that is when I stumbled upon  It was such a delight to know that locally, in Malaysia, Chee Wah is teaching the Course.  Immediately, I know I need to reach out to him to help me understand the Course.

I hope through ACIM and the generous sharing from Chee Wah, I can discover what my fear is and to find my inner peace, love and happiness.


Organized by: TalenCloud
Contact Person: Call/SMS Susan Lim

3 consecutive Mondays:
12, 19 and 26 August, 2013
7.45pm to 9.45pm

Menara Mutiara Bangsar
8-0-13 Ground Floor, Jalan Liku
Off Jalan Bangsar
Your Contribution:
RM30 per person per session

**There will be practice of silence from 7.45pm to 8.00pm.  Do be punctual.**

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Interview with Dr. Hew Len – Ho’oponopono

Have you hear about Ho’oponopono and Dr. Hew Len?

Dr. Hew Len was a psychologist who healed a ward of mentally ill criminals using Ho’oponopono.

More on this story here:

In this interview, Dr. Hew Len explained to us:
Data is what is running us. It is at the root of what we experience. Change that within yourself and the outer world changes. Most of the time we are using dead information.

And take 100% responsibility!

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

How do you heal yourself with Ho’oponopono? Three steps: by recognizing that whatever comes to you is your creation, the outcome of bad memories buried in you mind; by regretting whatever errors of body, speech and mind caused those bad memories, and by requesting Divine Intelligence within yourself to release those memories, to set you free. Then, of course, you say thank You.

  • I love you.
  • I'm sorry.
  • Please forgive me.
  • Thank you.
Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.And when you look, do it with love. 

My review and reflection for The Garden of Words

I just watched this short animation work from Makoto Shinkai. I had previously watched his grand hit 'Your Name' and absolutely fel...