Recently, I have a request from a person who hope to mend our broken relationship. Well, to let you know my point later in this post, I first have to say that the person is the one who brought the damage to the relationship in the first place.
However, he wants to do it his ways, i.e. determining which day and who should or should not join the meeting. I did not feel comfortable with some of the arrangements and I voiced out some suggestions.
However, he insisted his way is the best to achieve the objectives and other ways will make things useless.
I got a bit frustrated and I told him this "When u go fishing, what you put on the bait? Do you put the food u like - chocolate, cakes? No, you put worms , which obviously u do not like...".
"In this case, when your objectives are to mend our broken relationship. Do u think it is better to try to do it my way since u r the one initiating it?"
Well, if you read the book "How to win friends and influence people" (which I always strongly recommend to all my friends) , you will know the fishing bait story is from that book. And it is a perfect illustration on doing what other wants and not what you want, when you want to get something from the other person.