Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Heartbroken friend

I cannot believe it -my best friend just told me that her boyfriend had broken up with her. Through email.

How come? I asked. He was almost the ideal boyfriend. Everything he had done for my friend just show how caring he was and how deeply he loved her.

She was not caring enough. That was what he told my friend. In the email and later in the Google chat.
For 5 years, he has invested his love and suddenly out of nowhere he wanted to give up? Yes, my friend had been a little slow in growing her care for him. But she has improved a lot over times and she is those type of person which only care for certain people she feels safe with.

And she had care a lot about this guy. She had endured the long distance relationship for 5 long years, diving into her works as an excuse to escape her loneliness. She had stayed loyal despite the temptation. She was already prepared to married to him. How come he decided to give up even without warning her. How come he did not want to discuss with her first before he decide? What happened to him to cause him to make the sudden decision?

My friend is of course very devastated. I did not know what I can do for her. I am waiting for her call as she was out now with her friend. I still remembered the last time she was heartbroken (around 6 years ago) , we went to Genting and I taught her how to gamble on the horse racing machine in the casino. I think I may go to Genting again with her if she wants. At least we can escape to some place.

How come when one grow up , relationship becomes more fragile? People do not just go ALL out and love the other half anymore. There are always insecurity, calculations , materialism. No one dare to mention "forever" anymore. And there will be "no guarantee" what will happen to us.

Recently I met up with some old friends. One had just broke off with his girlfriend recently and was very down and not seeing friends for a long time. (Luckily he recovered) . One just got through the pain of divorce. The rest, either are not secured or prepared to get married or questioned how one can trust her partner?

I can see the pain and insecurities in a lot of people. They said they have learned from their mistakes. But, I also saw that it will be harder for them to accept new love and they will thread ever so carefully.

At this moment, I feel I really get older and have gone into another stage in life.

The first stage waas when we grew from toddler to a child who started to go to school.

The second stage was when one stop school and started to go to college or universities. Or continued Form 6 in the government schools.

The third stage was when one stop education and started going out to work.

The fourth stage is when one have enough experience in work + life and need to settle down or find real purpose in their life, usually by giving up or letting go of something.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I got this article from a friend and I think it is a good advice to your heart broken friend. One way or another it also help to heal the wound.

Enjoy the article!

I once had a friend who grew to be very close to me. Once when we
were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: "You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love."

This was how I saw it: As long as you keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt
to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds.

This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet
love...they try to posses it, they demand, they expect... and just like the later
spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you .

For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there
are people you love, allow them to be free beings.

1. Give and don't expect.

2. Advise, but don't order.

3. Ask, but never demand.

It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must sincerely feel no expectations from those who you love, and yet an unconditional caring."

Life is beautiful!!! Live it!